Adventure 4 - The Tale of Ser Robard

“I Loth-Aaleen do recount the Tale of Ser Robard. Written in my own hands by the account of Ser Robard. He who is our benefactor and employer.

Ugh, who am I kidding? ‘Ser’ Robard hasn’t once yet asked me to recount his adventures and so I know he’ll never read this. 

His greatest adventure has been to find us work clearing a barn of vermin and reshoeing the horses. Of which he did no work. Rondel, our armorer shod the horses. Patsy and I both were tasked with mucking out the stables. 

Did we actually remove any vermin? No, but we destroyed their hovels in the haystacks, for which Goodman Horatio paid us each 10 copper, but ‘Ser’ Robard he paid double.

If only I could find useful employment. I’ve trained in the ways of lore and learning. I speak my native tongue as well as the Common. 

I see what a rag-tag rabble Robard has amassed.

Rondel, the armorer, finished his apprenticeship with the forging of an iron helmet with neither particular adornment nor flourish. A very solid lad, yet very untested. He isn’t even a journeyman! This is how Robard could afford to employ him. Rondel’s wages are promises of valor and the “finest steel made by Dwarves”.

Patsy is a swindler. I’ve seen him work various schemes on the other two. He agreed heartily to be ‘Ser’ Robard’s squire and carry his things, yet has managed to flatter Robard that he should like to carry his own sword for it strikes a dashing figure, and in the same breath has complained of the chills and gotten Robard’s fine cloak. “Ser Robard”, says Patsy, “None can see your augustly chissled jowls under the cowl of that cape, and thine sword is hidden like a cut purse. You must be bold and forthright. Unhide thyself from the cloak, shed it worth. Wield thy longest sword with vigor! Then we shall let all the folk know that thou art noble. Word of thyself will spread before thee and when we come to a village we shall always be welcomed. But only if they recognize thee and thy sword.”

Patsy convinced Rondel that Rondel ought to carry the 50 feet of rope that Patsy had, that he might, “Tie the rope to a bellows to work the forge.” Or that he might, “swing the rope with
He tried swindle me of my large sack, claiming he was to carry all things within it. But I am smarter than he. I shant let him take my bag. He only wants it so that all treasures must be entrusted to his cares for, “I have the perfect bag with which to carry that bauble” he’ll claim.

Lastly ‘Ser’ Robard himself. He says he is of noble birth but when I asked him for his Patents of Nobility he said, “Ah yes, the Nobles of this realm are all very patient. We are famous for it.” Telling me of intimate conversations with the King himself. I don’t know how he came by such a fine sword and that beautifully engraved ring, so perhaps he is of noble birth, a fourth son perhaps. But he hasn’t gotten a silver to his name. He hasn’t a horse, he hasn’t any armor, and he’s managed to promise all of the armor to Rondel.

But off we go. Ser Robard says we’ll search about town to find other adventurers and together we’ll form a merry band  and have great adventures.”

Characters by Daniel Colton